Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
