My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
