HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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