FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
