Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
