Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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