am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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