we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
