well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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