all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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