omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize