i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
