using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
