yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
