Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Green mimosas i think yes
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
