he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say đ
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
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