No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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