We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
