You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
