I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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