Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
All I want is dick and wine.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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