with your own penis?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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