i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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