just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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