Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
