just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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