Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
