There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im having a threesome with these popsicles
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
