Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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