I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize