oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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