Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
