someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
