I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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