so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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