I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
