no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize