dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
