why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
what the fuck happened to the tacos
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
