hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
