Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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