its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
