Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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