We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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