If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize