you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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