the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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