Plan B is the new Plan A
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Randomize
