Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize