Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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