That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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