We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
