put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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